Kirsty Salisbury - Podcaster, Author & End of Life Coach

View Original

Where There's a Will...

In 2010 my friend's mother had a sudden fatal heart attack.  In 2012 My Father was killed in an accident.  In 2019, one of my best closest friends' husband never came home from work one day. And in the last few years, I’ve heard of so many more life-threatening medical diagnoses than ever before. Not positive, I know! But before you switch off from reading such a sad post, please bear with me to understand why I am telling you these things…

Death waits for no one. It doesn’t wait until the timing suits us or our loved ones until we have our affairs sorted, or until we tick off the big things in life… You see, we all know someone who has died suddenly, or unexpectedly, and yet a 2020 study shows that only 25% of people have a will! Despite a much higher percentage of people feeling that having a will is an important thing to, it’s just not getting done... So how about you?

 

If not, perhaps it’s worth noting 3 reasons why having a will (for any adult) is important:

 
1.  We get to call the shots

Your relationships with family, friends, and the community can be complicated. Each person will know us in a slightly different way, and during times of grief, our emotional state can be extremely heightened. There is so much to process with the loss and grief itself, alongside making funeral arrangements and transitioning into a new phase of life, let alone understanding how the deceased possessions and affairs should be divided up. But by having an up to date will, no one can dispute what your wishes are. It can help things to go as you wish them to, and save your loved ones a lot of discussion, headaches and potentially some serious conflict!

 2.  Any dependent minors will be taken care of

I know, it’s simply awful to think about leaving behind our little people. But if it did happen, wouldn’t you want the best for them? A thorough will doesn’t just manage the distribution of our material assets but helps to bring peace of mind, that our children will be kept safe and cared for in an environment that we’ve already approved.


3.   We get to select the executor

We all like being in charge, but when it comes to getting our affairs in order, we’ll likely want someone organised, thorough, honest, and reliable. The end of life can come suddenly and unexpectedly, and if it does, it’s likely there will be unpaid bills, credit cards and subscriptions left behind that need cancelling, and organisations that need to be notified. This is quite an undertaking and will require the right person to oversee it.  

 

There are so many other reasons for having a will from being able to give gifts and donations, through to paying reduced tax amounts or ensuring any claims don’t get caught up in the red tape of bureaucracy.

 

So, if you do not have a will, why don’t you have one? Chances are your answer to that question is one of the following:

 

I don’t have the time right now/ haven’t gotten around to it/ it just seems a hassle.

They say a good plan today beats a great plan tomorrow for a reason. Got twenty minutes? That’s a start. A will can be reviewed and changed as often as you like so there’s no need to lose sleep over it. Simply starting by listing your assets and the names of people who you’d like them to go to is better than nothing.

 

It looks so complicated! Don’t I need a lawyer?

Not really. There are plenty of resources (some online) for putting together a DIY will. Free advice is also available from community law centres or the Citizens Advice Bureau (in NZ).

 

I don’t have any dependents/assets, why would I need a will?

As already mentioned, when you pass on, someone needs to settle your affairs. Better to assign responsibility now than leave behind a big mess for others to clean up.

 

The only thing uncertain about death is when it will happen. Having a will ensures that those left behind are taken care of and able to settle your affairs with ease. If you don’t have one yet, set a date with yourself to get started. You’ll be surprised how simple it can be!

 

If you are interested to learn more about getting your affairs in order, and going through the specific steps to dying a good death, you might also want to check out my Dying Well program over at 

Here’s what Karene had to say about it: